Timeout

I am tired.
Tired of sexy and of fake, tired of curses, deceit, and pride, tired of appearances. I am tired of the world.
Sometimes the world just grates on you. It scars your memories, drags claws through your brain down to your soul. It knows just where to bite so it stings and stings more. The world doesn't let up - it just tries harder.
I don't have all the answers. I don't know everything there is to know about life and how it should be lived. I am nowhere near perfect or exemplary. I am only just trying.
But sometimes, it feels like trying is not enough. The journey itself is the best part of life, growing along the way, but it's easy to think that at the hilltops. In the valleys, life just seems hard. And it is. But it's so much more than hard; so rich, so rewarding, so worth it. So worth the fight.
It's a daily fight, with flesh and blood and darkness and light waging war. It scars and stains you, this life. Sometimes you just need to be honest with yourself and declare a timeout for the night, a break to regroup, revive, prepare to go back and work harder. Such is tonight.
There is a practicality, perhaps, with this sort of declaration; one can't go on forever. But it's hard to reach this point. This is a place of surrender, of humility, for you must acknowledge that the fight is too hard for you to handle alone. It's almost like admitting defeat.
Fortunately, it's not. Rather, it's going where we're supposed to go and giving up what we're supposed to surrender. This is not our fight, however greatly we are entrenched in it. We're players in a greater game.
And it will take all the strength we can muster.